The Next Person I See Planking....

...is getting one of these.

Stop it.

Seriously.

SOMEBODY Explain This To Me. Please.

Why did I see this on the internet tonight?? WHY???

It sounds like he's saying "Hi I Want My Burrito."
Daddy Yankee, please come get your obese reggaeton son off the internet.

Discretion, Greg. Discretion.

Sure, Alabama quarterback Greg McElroy might have just been the starting QB on a National Championship team. And yea, he might be a Rhodes Scholar candidate. But WHY did he think it was cool to pick his nose on National TV?? Camera don't lie, fool.
I'm not saying that I've never picked my nose in public but it's all about DISCRETION.

Watch Out Snuggie. It's the...Necky???

Seriously, what will they think of next?? This really looks like the Scarf Edition Snuggie and it's just as weird. It's like part-bib, part-turtleneck and overall ridiculous. But at least it protects you from "chilly gaps and gaping holes." hahaha Ladies and gentlemen, I present, The Necky.
Gimme dat Necky??
FOH.

Proof that people will buy anything.

[Note: Shouts to Dooby Brain for the vid.]

Ron-Ron Luvs Tha Henny // Tiger Woods Apologizes

Ron Artest is a wild dude.

He recently admitted that he used to drink Hennessy at halftime of basketball games during his time with the Bulls. Well damn. I don't know whether to be upset or to applaud the sheer ability to drink a hard alcohol at halftime and then finish out a game. But at the same time I'm kind of mad because this might explain his mediocre play in Chicago which lead to us trading him after just a little over two years. Ron-Ron must have been on that Keon Clark "never play a game sober" tip. He even said that when Ben Wallace comes around, he stays on guard and is still in the mood to fight him. I don't really care though. Ron Artest is one of my favorite athletes [Yes I said it] and not only because we share a birthday. He's a good entertainer, man. Can't rap to save his life though.

[Note: Shouts to @jayredg for the heads up.]


Now, on to Tiger.

I know he cheated and all, but still. It's never fair for the media and the sports community to come down on a person so tough. He admitted he was wrong, asked for forgiveness and also asked that we move on. Can we please?? One thing that I will say about the Tiger situation is that, right or wrong, he made a solid point. In his statement on TigerWoods.com he said,

"No matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy....Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

No matter which side of the scandal you're on, you have to agree with that.

Did Tiger cheat? Yes. Was he wrong? Yes.

Should the worldwide media have a field day with it? No.

[Note: I don't wanna hear anything when Tiger starts bussin ass next year on the tour. Hold your head, Tiger.]

What Were Your Parents Thinking??? Pt. 2 [SEC Edition]

This post might be twice as bad as my last What Were Your Parents Thinking??? post. I'm actually sure it is. It's pretty funny because when I was thinking of some really messed up names, Knowshon Moreno was the first one I thought of and it's actually not that bad compared to some of the other ones I found. His name is really a combination of his father's nickname [Knowledge] and his mother's name [Varashon]. Not the most common name, but definitely not too bad.

But now, onto the next one: Barkevious Mingo.

This one hits close to home because Mingo is a freshman linebacker for the LSU Tigers. His name is so wild that Name of the Year crowned it the 2009 Name of the Year. Whoa. I'm not sure how or WHY the name Barkevious came about but damn....What Were Your Parents Thinking?????


[Note: Barkevious Mingo might be one of the best defenders on LSU defense this year and definitely has a shot to make it to the next level after college. Don't let the name fool you, dude is actually nice as shit on the field.]

What Were Your Parents Thinking???

Dallas Austin.

I know he's a famous music producer and this is random, but his name sucks. Seeing his name yesterday reminded me of the time me and my boy Torrance actually talked about this fact. The convo went a little like this:

Torrance: You know who's name sucks?? Dallas Austin.
Me: Right. Like were his parents obsessed with Texas or some shit??
Torrance: Yea. He probably has a brother named Houston Dallas Austin.
Me: And his full name is Dallas San Antonio Austin.
Torrance: Worst name ever??
Me: Don't forget about Flozell Adams.
Both: Hahahaha.

You might have had to be there in order to laugh at this. But I'm sure Torrance is dying at this shit. But seriously, the name Dallas Austin sucks but at least it's not Flozell. My man @TheThinkStew said Flozell sounds like the name of an inhaler. To me it sounds more like one of those 1970s soul artists on those 20th Century Masters compilations. "Featuring the musical styles of FLOZELLLL ADAMSSSS!!" Their names really do suck.

...I'm just sayin.

Keep F--kin That Chicken...

Found this video randomly on YouTube yesterday since got to work from home due to the Atlanta flood [Which was wild.] Anyway, check out this video from New York reporter, Ernie Anastos. It's quite hilarious. Just look at the woman's face at 0:07.

And it would be on Fox News, huh?
Smh.

So I Guess the Nationals are More Than Just a Bad Team...

...apparently their hat is a symbol for terrorism.

Tyler Allard, aide to Representative Jim Cooper (D-Tenn.) wore a green Nationals hat on a trip through Israel earlier this week. First off, the Nats are SO BAD that it's not a good idea to wear their hats anywhere but Allard's choice of timing was just bad. Here's what happened:

"An Israeli airport security guard pointed to the hat with the curly W team logo and demanded with a tone of disgust, “Why do you wear that?”

“Good question,” his father, former longtime Senate aide Nick Allard, replied. “They are hopeless. They desperately need relief. You never know when they will hit, and because their defense is so bad, they suffer more than they can dish out. It’s not rational and I can’t explain why, but we are loyal and we love them.” The more he talked, the more upset the security folks became, Nick Allard reports. Their luggage was checked and rechecked, and they were quizzed by security.

When they were finally cleared to board, Allard wrote in an e-mail, the head of the security detail said: “We do not appreciate your Hamas headgear.” Green apparently is a Palestinian “color,” Allard speculated, and the vaguely Arabic Nats logo might have been mistaken for an extremist emblem."

Damn. Sorry Nats fans. Not only is your team one of the worst in baseball, but their alternative hats can cause international incidents.

#fail.

[Note: Story via ourkitchensink.com.]

I Mean, He DID Apologize...

By now, we all know what Kanye did to Taylor Swift at the VMAs and I'm pretty much tired of hearing of how wrong he was for doing what he did. Can you really be mad at someone for speaking their mind?? Sure, his actions were a little misguided but about half of that bottle of Henn and a couple rubs on Amber Rose's booty meat will have that effect on you. We really need to get over this shit. Like now.

'Ye was on Jay Leno last night where he discussed Sunday's incident. It was a pretty brief interview but I feel like Jay went a little too far asking about his mom and how she would feel. Whoa, man. It's never too soon to bring up someone's deceased parent. 'Ye seemed genuinely remorseful for his actions but...that doesn't mean he don't do it again. But who cares? I mean, he DID apologize.
And the best part was Jay & Rihanna coming out for Run This Town. Aughh.
I mean, Rihanna still can't sing but still an ill performance.

[Note: Links via MissInfo.tv Aughh.]

So Yeah, I'm not the Biggest Tyler Perry Fan...Part 1

...I actually can't stand the dude.

Is it because of his two shitcoms that perpetuate stereoypes about Blacks?? Maybe it's the male-bashing movies that he loves to make?? Or could it be that he's a grown man parading in WOMEN'S clothES??? Nah. It's none of these. The first reason I can't stand Tyler Perry is because he thought it was ACCEPTABLE/NECESSARY to wear this big fake, nappy ass afro in his movie.

I was coerced/forced by my mom to watch The Family That Preys at our last Sampson family gathering. While all the women in my family were engulfed in the movie, all the guys were like: "Do you NOT see this big fake ass FRO this nigga is wearing?!!?" It was hard to to take the movie serious so I stopped paying attention after that. I mean, would the story not have made since if he would've just rocked a fade??? He was in the joint lookin like:
Aughhh.

This is one post of many.
Tyler Perry must be stopped.

Officers of the Law, huh???

Yesterday was going great: Church was awesome, shot some really good scenes for the movie, got a nice little bite to eat. Perfect little Sunday, right?? Wrong. On the way home I got JEALOUS'D by the police and got pulled over. He claimed I drove right through a stop sign and clearly I didn't. Anyway, this is a film interpretation of what essentially happened:
So yea, that's pretty much what happened. Except there was only one cop and he was Black. When he asked where I lived I should have said, "A small town called 'Fresh of a cop's ass. And you're makin me home sick.'"


Officers of the got damn Law...smh.

This Could Only Happen to ME...

So, I decided [after weeks and weeks of binge drinking on a daily basis] to give up beer for a month. I know, it's only beer and yeah, it's only a month. Should be no problem right?? Wrong. I started this little experiment this past Sunday [August 23] so I'm pretty much just getting started. But check THIS shit out: On Monday night [August 24] I went to my usual Monday night spot with @Pbbt and we just finished our food and got our checks. I signed mine and gave it to the waitress when I got tapped on the shoulder by this random dude [nh]. I wondered what he could possibly want and when I turned around he said, "Hey man, my friends and I bought too many beers and we're about to leave so if you guys want these, you can have em." I couldn't believe it. I give up beer for ONE DAY and people are already offering me FREE BEER. Wheredeydodatat?????? I was able to reluctantly decline these but if people are giving beer AWAY, then it might be hard to make it 30 days. Smh.

Why u wanna give away free beer mangggg?????

Chad Ochocinco is a Wild Dude...

So I'm in the crib watching Mean Girls [no cable in the new crib, cut me some slack] and then I started hearing about Chad Ochocinco kicking an extra point in the Bengals' preseason game against the Patriots. [Shouts to @BdotLaw for being the first to RT.] Is there nothing this guy can't do?? I wish the NFL didn't suck ass and would allow touchdown celebrations. There's no telling what this dude would come up with.
But the hate HAD to come from somewhere...
smh.

Buuuuuut....Skip did reply to my @ message via DM. I can't front like I wasn't hype like shit.


All I could say was:

Don't Believe the [Chicken] Hype...

So everyone [literally everyone] has heard about the coupon for the free grilled chicken at KFC that Oprah sponsored. I mean, black people everywhere heard about it and they were like:Yeah, sounds all good right?? Wrong. And I'm not even speaking on the arguing, fighting and even riots that have occurred over the chicken; I think there might be an even bigger issue. I know people have seen Undercover Brother and if you have, I know you remember en The Man's plan to use fried chicken to distribute a mind-controlling drug to the black population. ↓ ↓
Hmm. Not so far fetched now is it??

Who knows what could be behind this nation-wide free chicken campaign??
It might be as bad as the chicken causing everyone who eats it to turn into chicken-craving zombies or something. Who knows?? It's been insane around here. The KFC by my crib had a line of cars more than half a mile down the road. People were even parking their cars on Cascade and walking all the way to KFC to wait in a lobby packed with people. The one by campus had to limit the deal to dark meat and only mashed potatoes. Today at Wal-Mart this dude even tried to sell me his coupons for a dollar apiece since you can't download them anymore. This is wild. I've decided not to take part in this whole free chicken thing. It's weirding me out too much. I might end up on May 20th as the last unzombified person alive!

I mean, stranger things have happened.
Wait, no they haven't. But still.

[Note: And why did it have to be KFC?? Why couldn't Oprah give America free Subway for two weeks?? Hmm...Owwuch.]

SB '09: Owww

The time is finally here.
Spring Break 09.

I'm sure that this year will be another week full of drunkenness, debauchery and boomsooka on South Beach. Have fun, be safe and I want stories when we get back. Oww.

And remember, it's not Spring Break unless you look back and have some moment that make you do this:
Owwww.

Wtf Kanye...?? Pt. 2

So less than a week since I posted this about Kanye for a huge mohawk/fro/mullet infraction, he's done something else. This time it might actually be worse. A picture has surfaced with Kanye and some of his "friends" in what might be seen as fucking questionable clothing. I think that I have some grasp of fashion, but this is EXTREME. I don't really know what's getting into Kanye as of late, but I hope I don't have to excommunicate him like I'm about to do Lil Wayne. [Note: Wayne's about two weeks away from a tongue ring. Nasty.] Anyway, I hope Kanye stops wylin in time to release Good Ass Job before graduation.

Seriously.
Just like last time, when I saw this I said:

Wtf Kanye...??

Wtf Kanye...??

So my roommate told me about Kanye's mohawk/fro/mullet concoction that he's sporting nowadays and I had to check it for myself. Now I usually agree blindly with all things Kanye/Jay/Kobe/Lebron, but this one was too much. Come on Kanye...

I am not feeling this hair and it's damn near impossible to defend him on this one. As soon as I saw it I did this:

Wtf Kanye...??

Yurp, It's the Birthday...

Man, 22 seems so old...but I'm here. But with all that, I'm still thankful to be alive and healthy for my 22nd Birthday. Now it's on to B.R. to be with the fam. If you're gonna be in Baton Rouge this weekend, hollaaaaaa!! Toe, what up?!