Don't Believe the [Chicken] Hype...

So everyone [literally everyone] has heard about the coupon for the free grilled chicken at KFC that Oprah sponsored. I mean, black people everywhere heard about it and they were like:Yeah, sounds all good right?? Wrong. And I'm not even speaking on the arguing, fighting and even riots that have occurred over the chicken; I think there might be an even bigger issue. I know people have seen Undercover Brother and if you have, I know you remember en The Man's plan to use fried chicken to distribute a mind-controlling drug to the black population. ↓ ↓
Hmm. Not so far fetched now is it??

Who knows what could be behind this nation-wide free chicken campaign??
It might be as bad as the chicken causing everyone who eats it to turn into chicken-craving zombies or something. Who knows?? It's been insane around here. The KFC by my crib had a line of cars more than half a mile down the road. People were even parking their cars on Cascade and walking all the way to KFC to wait in a lobby packed with people. The one by campus had to limit the deal to dark meat and only mashed potatoes. Today at Wal-Mart this dude even tried to sell me his coupons for a dollar apiece since you can't download them anymore. This is wild. I've decided not to take part in this whole free chicken thing. It's weirding me out too much. I might end up on May 20th as the last unzombified person alive!

I mean, stranger things have happened.
Wait, no they haven't. But still.

[Note: And why did it have to be KFC?? Why couldn't Oprah give America free Subway for two weeks?? Hmm...Owwuch.]